Today is the day for the barn to fall,
the mice and the owls and the bugs and all.
Today is the day for the barn to fall,
'cause Mister Jenkins said so.

Today is the day for the sky to cloud,
for thunder and lightning to shatter the ground.
Today is the day for the sky to cloud,
'cause Mister Jenkins said so.

Today is the day for the earth to erupt
'neath the feet of the sinners, vile and corrupt.
Today is the day for the earth to erupt,
'cause Mister Jenkins said so.

Today is the day that the Reds will invade,
in cahoots with the lib'rals and Roe vs. Wade.
Today is the day that the Reds will invade,
'cause Mister Jenkins said so.

"You are old, Mister Jenkins; your views, obsolete,"
said my mom, who's a tool of the cultchral elite.
But me and my gun will be out on the street
'cause Mister Jenkins said so.